behind the scenes: a glimpse into my choreographic process
alright, buckle up, buttercup - because we are diving headfirst into the chaotic, delusion-covered world of my brain when it comes to choreography. yep, you heard that right - we are going behind the scenes & let me tell you - it’s a WILD ride. i always get asked what’s going on in my head so i’m gonna do my best to describe it - but i can’t promise it will make any sense!
so i’ve been crafting routines and choreographing for eight years; professionally for six, which basically means i’ve had a front-row seat to the evolution of my own madness. while i don’t claim to be the coolest choreographer, & still have a lot to learn, i have learned that my process is a little… different.
see, i have aphantasia, which means i can’t actually see anything in my mind’s eye. no visual images, nada. then, when people always tell me, ‘your routines are so visual that must be so cool to come up with in your head!’ it’s really awkward to break it to them that actually; no i actually can’t see it in my head.
so….. how do i build a dance? instead of picturing it: i feel it, hear it, and i build it with the dancers. it’s less ‘i want it exactly like this’ and more ‘let’s throw some ideas out and see what sticks’. my mind doesn’t have the opportunity to get attached to choreography because i don’t get to see it until the dancers are doing it. i'm really excited to give you a peek into the messy world that is my brain and how i make dances come to life.
finding a song:
every good dance starts with a concept or a song or an idea. my dance teacher got me in the habit of coming up with dance ideas every. single. day. when i was in high school, she gave me a notebook and told me to come up with a concept a day. believe me, most of them were trash. but i really believe that this is how i started to hear music in the form of concepts and dance pieces!
i have visceral reactions to listening to music.
what’s a visceral reaction? it’s like … okay just imagine you’re listening to a song and it just HITS you, right? not just in your ears, but everywhere. i’m talking full body shivers down your spine or the sudden urge to burst into tears when the melody comes in. i feel music all the way down into my bones. my body takes over and i don’t even think, i just do. sometimes i get weird nostalgic feelings even though i’ve never heard the song before. it’s in my gut, my heart, my whole freakin’ being responds to sound waves.
when i get that reaction, that’s basically how i know; this is a song i can create to. concepts typically follow closely behind. and again, i see nothing in my brain so coming up with concepts is more of a natural thing that happens due to the reactions i have to music. i love writing, i love reading and stories so i can find concepts in lyrics fairly easy. it’s like creating a story with movement!!
note: i work with kids. so my concepts are typically simple: one year i did a dance and they were witches. that’s it, that was the whole concept haha.
planning:
let's spill the tea on my "planning" process, or lack thereof. let's be real, "planning" is a generous word. it's more like organized chaos, or maybe just straight-up chaos. honestly, most times, there's no real plan at all. it's all vibes and gut feelings.
okay, so, sometimes, if i'm working with an outside studio, you know, to look professional, i'll throw together a super loose outline. (unless we are talking kids who are completely new to me or dance team. then it’s definitely a stricter plan!) i’ll be like: "okay, group section from :15 to :45, then maybe a soloist, and then... something else." that's about as structured as it gets. it's more like a vague roadmap than an actual blueprint. the reason: obviously i can’t see anything in my head. i can’t plan visuals and transitions and layers without seeing the dancers do them because my brain is simply not wired to do that.
but typically? it's way more… abstract. i'll take a piece of paper and just write down the lyrics of the song, like, the key phrases that resonate with me. and then? i just scribble. doodles, lines, random words, whatever pops into my head. it's like my brain is trying to communicate through chicken scratch. it's a visual representation of the chaos in my head.
remember that witch dance? yeah, that one was a prime example. you can see that plan in the image i’ve attached. it was basically just a bunch of scribbles and random words. that's just truly how my brain works. it's not about perfect formations or precise counts; it's about capturing the essence of the music and translating it into movement. it's like i'm channeling the song, and the scribbles are just the antenna. it's not pretty, but it's real and usually creates a cool routine in the process.
putting a routine together:
i usually walk into the studio the day of choreography with about .5% of the dance done. no really. like i do so much of my work on the spot that is the BEST way for me to choreograph:
about that .5%: i come in knowing that a specific part of the song will be a group section and we START with that. usually the end group section. just get a few 8 counts going to get us moving off the bat, and then we go to the beginning and start the actual choreography!
okay, so no mind-movies here, but trust me, my body has its own way of telling me what's up when i’m creating a routine. the music starts doing its thing, and then bam, my chest gets all weird. not like, a bad weird, but like, a feeling weird (i told you - i don’t know how to describe this, i’m doing my best!!) like, the song's got a hold of my insides and it's pulling me in a certain direction. the speed of the feeling? that's my clue. if it's a quick, sharp burst in my chest, like a little jolt, i'm thinking, ‘that’s for sure a jump’ or several quick bursts could be a roll off. like, that's where you throw in some fast, snappy movement, ya know? something that matches that quick zing I'm feeling.
but then, if it's more of a slow burn, a gradual, drawn-out feeling in my chest; that's when I start thinking about those slow, melting moments. like, everyone's just kinda… oozing into a pose, letting gravity do its thing. and then, to make it pop, you throw in someone doing a solo, all sharp and defined, to really make that slow-mo moment stand out. it's like, my body's the conductor, and the music's telling it how to move, even if my brain's just chilling. it's all vibes, all feels, all gut instinct, and honestly? to me it feels pretty magical to see simple feelings in my chest come to life.
transitions, transitions, transitions:
okay, so transitions. yeah, apparently that’s kind of what i’m becoming known for. i’ve heard i’m a little bit of ‘the transition queen’ or something. honestly? it’s a mess in my head. like pure chaos when it comes to transitions. i basically operate on delusion and the sheer belief that the music has my back. because i really don’t know how else to explain this (i’m still gonna try):
here’s what i do. i pick one dancer; doesn’t matter who, and they become my ‘anchor’ and i map out their transition first. their whole pathway, where they’re going and what they do to get there. then i just bounce person to person - creating their individual paths and somehow (i swear it’s magic) no one crashes into each other. it’s like a high stakes game of human tetris! i always tell the kids i’m just delusional and it usually just works itself out. and it ALWAYS does. (don’t ask me how cause i don’t know either).
and because I'm all about that visual balance, i'm constantly thinking about how everyone looks together. if someone's hitting the floor, someone else is gonna be soaring in the air, or standing tall. it's all about that contrast, that give-and-take. it's like, i'm painting a picture with bodies, and the music is my palette. it's a chaotic, delusional, music-fueled process, but… whatever works, right? the music very rarely steers me wrong.
quote this! it’s a good thing to hear:
the BEAUTY of having no plan is the plan can change at any moment. if for some reason it looks bad, or doesn’t work, it’s so simple for me to say “eh. let’s do something else.” because my mind is NOT tied down to anything in the moment! listening to my instincts has worked wonders for me.
after choreo day:
now, don’t get it twisted. just because my initial choreography process is a beautiful mess doesn’t mean i’m just winging it the whole year. oh honey, no. once i have the initial routine done; that’s when the real magic happens and the obsessive perfectionist in me comes out to play. i’m talking about going home, rewatching those choreography videos until i have them burned into my retinas; and then diving into my ‘second draft’ when we get back to class like my life depends on it.
note: this is why i said i plan more for outside studios. unlike my home studio, what i leave them with is just what they have. so usually i will break things down further and maybe on lunch breaks i’m thinking through what we’ve done - the tweaks usually happen before i leave them with the routine.
this is where I get technical. i'm talking about dissecting every single movement, every transition, every single foot & finger. i'm tweaking, refining, and mercilessly cutting anything that doesn't feel absolutely perfect. if a formation looks wonky, i'm fixing it (even if it’s 5 minutes before they go on stage). if a transition feels clunky, i'm smoothing it out. if a moment doesn't land, it's getting reworked. i'm obsessed with this process. i get so hyper-focused on the details, on the nuances, on making sure every single element is working in harmony. it's like I'm building a puzzle, and i won't rest until every piece fits perfectly. so, yeah, i might seem like a chaotic whirlwind in the initial stages, but trust me, when it comes to refining and perfecting, i'm a precision machine. it's the balance.
well, i've officially overshared. hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my delightfully deranged brain. remember, if you ever see me scribbling on a napkin and mumbling to myself, just know i'm probably choreographing.
and if you see a routine that looks like a beautiful car crash? yeah, that was probably me too.
now, go dance, and don't forget to embrace your inner chaos!
